Dexter: Hey, Arch! Look, if I stand underneath you, we look as if we’re a dog with two heads. We can be Cerberus!
Archie: Oh, Pipsqueak. I need to teach you properly about Greek mythology. (Mum did Classics for A level so I know stuff.) Cerberus, the dog who stands at the gate to Hades, has three heads. Though Hesiod said he had fifty.
Dexter: Fifty heads? Imagine what dinner time would look like in his house. Kibble EVERYWHERE…
Archie: Dinner time is bad enough with just you! Leaping headfirst into your bowl and smacking it about with your paw means the kibble goes everywhere.
Dexter: Yeah, and Dad complains about how standing on little bits of kibble feels like standing on Lego. That’s the plan.
Dexter: No. Mum’s clever, so she’ll soon see it stays in the bowl if she puts a little bit of meat juices on it, like she does on Pasta Night. If Dad complains enough, we’ll get meat juices on our kibble every night.
Archie: Oh, Pipsqueak. I don’t know how to tell you that red meat is only once a week. And Chloe’s vegan…