Dexter: Arch, what’s puppy class?
Archie: Puppy class is fun! It’s somewhere you go and meet other pups, run around a bit, learn some commands and get lots of sausage to eat. My best friend at class was a Dachshund called Waffle. You’ll love it.
(Dexter gets out of the car and stops dead as he sees a Weimaraner, a Westie, a fox-red Labrador, a black Cocker, a Dachshund, an English Bulldog and two terriers — all of which are bigger than him. Dexter spends the entire class hiding behind our legs or being carried, and then yells his protest all the way home.)
Archie: So did you terrorise everyone like you terrorise me, Pipsqueak?
Dexter: It was soooo scary! And you weren’t there. Everyone else was bigger than me. I am so glad to be home — and I will never steal your biscuits again.
Archie: We don’t get biscuits after dinner and we all know you’ll be back to biscuit-thieving tomorrow. And it won’t be as scary, next week. Did you get any sausage?
Dexter: Yes. For knowing my name, which was really easy. But it was still scary….
(Archie keeps to himself the fact that he refused to get off my lap at his puppy socialisation party — which Dexter missed out on completely, thanks to Covid — then went to sleep, and was very shy at his first puppy class…)