Dexter: What’s the vet, Arch?
Archie: It’s a place you have to go to twice a year, Pipsqueak. Once to have a checkup, and once to have your vaccinations. You might have to go if you’re poorly. (Looks away.) And for another reason you’re too young to know about. We won’t talk about the Cone of Shame.
Dexter: Is the vet nice?
Archie: Yes, and so are the nurse and the receptionist. They give you biscuits while you wait. Though, last time, the vet stuck a thermometer up my bottom and then gave me antibiotics. I’d been sick everywhere and I had a temperature and Mum was worried about me. I felt too poorly to make a fuss.
Dexter: Will you come with me?
Archie: No. But you get both parents. They’ll cuddle you. You’ll be fine.
Dexter, on returning: So we had to wait outside and Mum wasn’t allowed in with me, and the nurse had a mask on and everything. I cried. But they made a fuss of me, then put stuff up my nose, stuck a needle in me and put me on the scales. I was *THIS BRAVE*. The vet said I was lovely. Oh, and I’m 4.1kg now. And the nurse gave Mum a bag of stuff.
Archie: That’ll be wormer and flea tablets. They’re supposed to taste yummy, but if you spit them out and refuse them then Mum wraps them in ham. She thinks it disguises the taste and tricks us; she doesn’t realise we do it on purpose to get more ham…