Romance and crime with warmth, heart and charm
Archie: Pipsqueak, this is how we check what’s going on in the neighbourhood. Stand with your paws on the radiator, be as tall as you can and look out. Do it as if you’re crossing the road: look right, look left, look right again.
(It would be easier to see if it wasn’t for the laurel hedge. Mum is working out how we can help her dig it up so she can replace it with roses. Dad says we are not to encourage her.)
Dexter: Archie, you’re so tall and I’m so tiny!
Archie says: And this, Pipsqueak, is how we sit nicely for cold poached salmon. Mum is on a diet, so she often has salmon and salad for lunch. Cucumber will probably be nice for you when your teeth hurt because it’s cool. But salmon’s what you really want. It’s scrummy.
Mum is not quite so much of a pushover as Chloe and she’ll tell you to sit if you’re pushy. Sometimes she doesn’t say ‘sit’ and does it in sign language, instead — we learned that at puppy class when I wasn’t much older than you. Because of lockdown, you might not be able to go to puppy class. So I promise to teach you all I know…
Archie says: Listen up, Pipsqueak. Not everyone in the house eats toast. Chloe does (probably because she’s a student, and students love toast) and she is a pushover. All you have to do is sit and look cute and wait for the click of the toaster, and she’ll give us a nice crunchy bit of toast. We’ll just go and remind her that we’re here, first.
I heard the click! Assume position! Toast!
Archie says: You know, Pipsqueak, Sundays are good days in this house. We go to the beach or the park a lot on Sundays (and that means a warm sausage roll for us in the cafe, as well as running around a lot without a lead on, and making friends with other dogs). Sadly you’re not old enough to go out yet, and also it’s lockdown so I haven’t been to the beach or the park for months…
(Archie has a little dream about the beach.)
Dexter says: this is my bed, and Mum said I was to let Archie sleep in his bed and stick to mine. When Archie stops giving me the cold shoulder, we will see about that. I cuddled up to all my baby brothers and my sister, so I reckon I can cuddle up to my big brother, too.
In the meantime, I be(e) teething… (Archie says: Mum cannot resist cheesy puns. Dad says it’s her age but I think she’s always been like it. Mum is also not allowed in the pet shop without adult supervision. Apparently she buys too many toys. I don’t get it because you can never have too many tennis balls.)
Their pet romance author adds: my hands are very full right now, so I’m working currently on the same basis that I did when the children were small – work when the baby naps!
We have a new arrival in the house – Archie’s baby half-brother, Dexter. They have the same father but different mums; but there are distinct family resemblances in some of their markings, and they have the same sweet, joyful nature.
He’s settled in very well – here he is just arriving home.
He absolutely adores my daughter, husband and son.
Archie isn’t too sure of him at the moment, but is allowing him a little closer every day. We’re taking it at his pace; he’s a lovely-tempered, well-socialised dog who wants to be friends with everyone, but it must be a bit of a shock to find the space you’ve occupied for three and a half years to suddenly have a pipsqueak in it. We’re making a fuss of him and ensuring he gets treats first.
Dexter will grow up to be Junior Edit-paw-ial Assistant (Archie is obviously Senior EPA). Duties include napping at my feet and sitting nicely for the last couple of spoons of porridge at breakfast, and as you can see Archie is taking his training duties seriously.
The early-morning walkies needs rescheduling (can’t leave the pup alone for an hour, and although the kids are home for lockdown they don’t fancy a 6am start), but I have discovered that a plot-walk can be replaced by plot-puppy-cuddling. And I’m working when baby’s asleep!
